


Diverting Attention (The Double Remix)

by Mara



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Drama, Humor, Other, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-23
Updated: 2010-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-06 15:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lady Shiva came to town and who knows what she did there...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Aftermath Remix

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Petra LeMaitre (Petra)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petra/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Diverting Attention](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/993) by Petra. 



> These are two remixes of Petra's story. The first is much more like the original story in style...which is to say it contains some disturbing implications. The second is rather sillier. Read both at your own risk.
> 
> I recommend you read my first remix, then go read Petra's original, then read my second remix.

The Batmobile skidded around a corner and Batman gritted his teeth as he kept it on the road. "Oracle? Update!"

"Damn it, if I knew anything more, I'd have told you already," she growled in his ear. "They've always refused to let me bug their practice room and I haven't managed to sneak anything in. All I know is that Shiva is there and they're not answering me."

Gritting his teeth, he drove even faster toward Blüdhaven, unwilling to consider what might happen if he arrived too late. He could only hope that Shiva was in the mood to play rather than be direct.

When the Batmobile skidded to a halt, Batman leaped out and was down the abandoned subway tunnel faster than he ever remembered running before, cursing the day he'd sent Robin and Batgirl to this town that had nearly killed Nightwing.

As he ran, he debated two approaches: sneaking up and trying to learn what was going on, and bursting in on the assumption that whatever was going on was bad. He decided on the latter just in time to come rolling through the short entrance, batarang in hand.

Batgirl and Robin, automatically braced for attack, relaxed when they saw who it was.

They were alive.

And functioning.

And they hadn't responded to either his or Oracle's frantic hails for something like 20 minutes. He was going to kill them both. "They're alive, Oracle," he said.

"What happ--"

"I'll let you know when I know. Batman out." He scowled at them. "Report," he said through gritted teeth, putting the unneeded batarangs away.

Tim...stared down at the ground and slumped against a wall. That was so unusual as to be unheard of. Even when Tim chose to lie, he always stood straight and looked you in the eye. Always.

Cass, on the other hand, looked oddly triumphant. Which, he supposed, wasn't unjustified if she'd somehow beaten Lady Shiva.

As he scowled even harder, Batman's conscious mind registered what his unconscious had already noted: Their costumes were subtly disarranged, in ways that would make him scowl in disapproval under other circumstances. Masks and gloves were dropped haphazardly, and Tim's staff lay by the wall. Both were flushed and sweating, although the room was cold.

Cass smiled at him, obviously seeing his confusion in his stance. "Shiva is gone," she said. "Will not return."

He looked at Tim, who finally looked up, expressionless. "I concur," was all he said.

"Good," Bruce said, stripping off his own cowl. "Today is not the day I want to fight her." But I would, to protect either of you, he didn't say. "Why was she here?"

Tim looked at Cass, scrubbing at his mouth in what looked like an unconscious gesture. She was smiling until she turned to look at Tim, then she froze, surprised by something she saw.

Bruce stayed very still, intently watching as Cass took a step forward. Both of them saw Tim flinch. He made himself stay put, but Cass stopped. "Tim?" she asked.

He closed his eyes. "Not now. I can't."

"Had to do it."

"Cass..."

"She would have pushed. Needed to show her. Teach her."

Teach her what? Bruce wondered, but he didn't want to remind them of his presence.

Tim looked bleak and uncomfortable. "Not that way. You can't just...use me like that."

"Use?" Cass tilted her head. "But we're a team." She looked at Bruce. "Right?"

"That's not the point." Tim swallowed.

"What happened?" Bruce asked, more gently than he'd intended. They hadn't been in a fight, but obviously much more had happened than it appeared on the surface.

Cass' chin went up. "Shiva came to teach. I learn quickly. Taught her. She left. Told her to stay out of this city."

Out of the corner of his eye, Bruce saw Tim's hands clenching and releasing. He paused, searching for the right question. "What did she teach?"

Cass pursed her lips, looking for the right words. "Play-fight. Distraction. Bodies."

Tim huffed out a breath. "Sex," he said, turning away.

Iron control kept Bruce from hitting something. "I...see. And what did she learn?"

Cass looked him in the eye. "She learned I am dangerous. She cannot hurt me. She may not hurt my team, my family."

Bruce closed his eyes for an instant. "Tim?"

The boy's arms were crossed and he still faced the wall. Slowly turning, he tried to relax his stance, with mixed results. Cass' face fell as she looked at him, and Bruce almost asked what she saw. "I'm okay. I guess," Tim said. "It's just...I didn't stop it, even when I should have."

Cass was beside him in an instant, too fast for even Tim to move away. "Not you. Me. I didn't know. Didn't realize. Learned now. I'm sorry."

Tim studied her face for a long moment before nodding. "I know. I wish, well, that's not how you should have learned."

"You learned with Steph. I waited."

Tim's face flushed and he put his hands over his eyes. "Cass!"

Bruce hid an entirely inappropriate smile. "I knew."

"Oh god," Tim said quietly, putting his hands down with a determined expression. "Cass, can we please have the rest of this conversation later? Without him?" He pointed at Bruce.

Bruce felt his own face flushing, but he refused to apologize. He waited as Tim and Cass stared at each other, trying to read the body language.

Tim was moving a great deal more than he usually did and couldn't keep from an occasional shudder. He'd crossed and uncrossed his arms a dozen times since Bruce arrived, and Bruce diagnosed some shame and a great deal of embarrassment. Definitely some anger, although it was hard to tell how much of the anger was for Cass, for her actions (whatever they were), and how much for Lady Shiva.

Unsurprisingly, Cass was harder to read, but her abortive movements to touch Tim...Bruce wondered if he was reading that correctly. Along with "I waited," well, perhaps Oracle might know.

Cass drooped, then nodded to Tim, although what precisely she was agreeing to, Bruce wasn't sure. Tim looked relieved, though.

"Can you tell me if Shiva hurt you?" Bruce asked bluntly, certain he was running out of time to get answers.

"Indirectly, yes." Tim shuddered again, a movement so small most people would never have seen it. "But I did learn something," he glanced at Cass, "and I think Lady Shiva learned a great deal more."

\--end--


	2. The Why Me? Remix

The well-lit practice area seemed entirely normal: Mats, towels, a sink, higher ceilings than you might expect underneath the subway. There weren't any visible signs of having fallen down a rabbit hole, so Tim wondered how he'd missed the transition to Wonderland.

Tim was tempted to say "Off with her head!" but he was certain neither of his companions would get the joke and it could lead to...unpleasantness if they took him seriously.

"Let me get this straight," he said slowly to Lady Shiva. "You're not here to kill us."

"No." Her eyes were filled with amusement.

"Or even to fight us."

"Not precisely."

Cass shifted position slightly and Tim recognized her impatience, but it was important to him that they make this very clear. "You're here to teach us."

"Yes."

"And somehow this involves kissing."

Shiva's smile was lazy and made him shiver with...something.

"And, uh..."

"The fact that you cannot even say the word 'sex' means that I am right."

Tim wanted to rub his eyes, but he wasn't entirely sure that things wouldn't get weirder. "I...this is insane. Cass, this is insane!" He turned to her, hoping for help, but instead got a smile as she moved closer. "Cass! She kissed you! This doesn't strike you as a little strange?"

Shiva circled around them and Tim tried to keep an eye on both of the women. "You do not wish to help Batgirl with her education?"

Tim stared at her. "Uh...I...is that a trick question?"

"No, little bird, it is not. She is vulnerable so long as she does know how to deal with this. Your mentor will only teach you so much."

Tim flinched. "Okay, now that's an image I never needed. Thanks. I'll be scrubbing my brain out for weeks."

Shiva threw her head back and laughed. "You're still afraid of me."

"I'm wary of you. Definitely wary." Tim backed away as Cass put her hands on his shoulders. "I mentioned the part where this is insane, right?" He opened his mouth to keep arguing and she covered it, kissing him firmly. "Mmmph!"

Then he doubled over in pain as Shiva kicked his ribs. Cass stepped back, frowning at both of them. "Distracting," she said.

"That is the point, girl. You should not be distracted by this, but it is unfamiliar. Come, continue to learn."

Tim tried to ignore how nice it felt when Cass kissed him, but she kept squirming. When she pushed him down to the mat, he tried to protest again, but he didn't want to distract her further from deflecting Shiva's blows. He strongly suspected she was hitting a great deal harder now.

"This isn't right."

Shiva sighed, loudly and deliberately, to draw his attention. "Little bird, if you do not use every weapon available to you, then you are not truly fighting."

"Sex isn't a weapon," he yelped over Cass' shoulder.

Shiva laughed at his indignation. "Perhaps you should spar with the Black Canary, if you believe that so strongly. What else are her stockings for? Perhaps you should speak with the young man who wore your colors with his legs bare."

Tim felt himself flush. No way on Earth was Dick ever hearing about this. Ever. Not if the world came to an end immediately afterward, because the man would still manage to tease him, even if he had to find him in the afterworld to do it.

"Ah, Batgirl, let me up, please." He forcibly repressed a whine as her hand dipped into his tights.

Never taking her eyes off him, Cass deflected two kicks from Shiva. "Later," she said with a nod. She turned to Shiva, leaping to her feet. "This lesson is over."

"I thought the teacher decides that," Shiva said, as they exchanged a flurry of kicks and punches.

"I have," Cass said.

Tim sprang to his feet, diving out of their way, knowing they were fighting out of his league.

Shiva rolled to the other side of the mat, settling into a prepared stance. "You were not the teacher here."

"No?" Cass' smile wasn't pleasant.

Tim started to grin as Shiva actually faltered at what she saw in Cass' eyes. "Batgirl?" he said quietly.

Cass didn't look at him. "Go," she said to Shiva.

Shiva didn't move, and Cass attacked. Tim's eyes widened as he realized that Cass had been holding back before. "Holy..." He ducked as a staff went flying over his head. Shiva was forced back further and further.

"Go," Cass said again. "When you have more to teach, I will find you."

And Shiva fled. Tim blinked. And blinked again. And wondered when the White Rabbit would show up. Then he winced when he realized that he should be more worried about the Black Bat who would probably be here any moment.

How in the world were they going to explain this? Tim groaned and put his head in his hands.

\--end--


End file.
